Top 10 Keys for Living Shamelessly

shame, releasing shame,

Photo by Josef Kandoll

I’ve just returned from the Permission Retreat in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and the powerful and profound shifts from the group have settled in.

For context, the 5 days of the retreat were rooted in Permission Sessions – my signature somatic group workshops where each participant is guided toward the unique intuitive shifts that need to be expressed through movement, voice and breath to release any part of themselves that’s been hidden, denied or shamed.

The goal is to free any stubborn hang-ups in your body that may unconsciously be an obstacle for liberated joy, confidence and pleasure on any scale. My approach is to unearth these hidden pieces from the inside out, so you can free your psyche, body and heart from any internal conflict or struggle.

Photo by Josef Kandoll.

We laughed that the hashtag for the retreat should be #kristamademedoit… and it still makes me smile. I like to think whatever is inside of you, has been aching to get out all along, and sometimes all you need is a little extra permission.

To put the top 10 take-aways from the retreat aka Top 10 Keys for Shameless Living  into perspective….each day involved guided inquiries exploring my signature process of the 6 Pillars of Knowing Yourself aka The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: Desire, Receiving, Truth, Letting Go, Trust and Love.

If you’d like to explore these themes on your own, take my Intimacy Quiz here.

Each theme was beautifully expanded with daily biodynamic breathwork facilitated by Lisa Meta Griff.

Deep continual breathing leads you to feel and explore the pleasure and pain centers in your body. This is important because both pain and pleasure are the internal barometers that lead you toward personal breakthroughs.

**The snapshot below is from our roof top breathing session under the stars…. looks cozy doesn’t it?**

Here we go…. The Top 10 Keys for Shameless Living (with #permission to share from the group):

1 – “I knew cognitively that I had a bad image of myself, or pretty severe compared to my ‘judgment’ of others. The sessions with Krista helped me see that from the inside, through the emotional aspect. It’s huge! I am able to have a lot of empathy and care for myself now.”

Key #1: Breaking self-judgment on an emotional level, gives you auto-self-compassion. Click To Tweet

2 – “Women are beautiful, strong, vulnerable, surprising and sweet.”

Key #2: All we need to be reminded of who we truly are is to stop holding ourselves together. Click To Tweet

3 – “We opened the definition of desire to be inclusive of so many areas of life (work, passion, love) and to be less burdened. By using those desires as a starting point, it’s a direct link to increasing sensual desire.”

Key #3: Desire is much greater than a capricious physical need… it’s a fundamental part of our need to grow… Click To Tweet  Sensual desire is an affirmation that we’re on the right track.

4 – “I am strong enough and willing enough to move through my body issues.”

Key #4: Willingness is the superpower for resolution. Click To Tweet

5 – “The realization I was ready to move past body-acceptance into body-worship surprised me!”

Key #5: Self-worship transcends self-acceptance. Click To Tweet

6 – “It’s possible to actively cast-off old pain and anxieties and injustices.”

Key #6: Our bodies’ self-healing mechanisms release the imprints of pain which neurologically frees us from mental and emotional struggles.

The body transcends the mind with its wisdom. Click To Tweet

7 – “Slowing down to savor life and pleasure makes everything more fulfilling. With this in mind I’ll be less prone to jamming every moment to achieve, accomplish and reach my goals. I just want to slow down time and savor the moment.”

Key #7: The more we push, cram and jam, the more unfulfilled we feel….. only because we haven’t taken the time to slow down and be fulfilled by the moment.
Slowing down to savor life and pleasure makes everything more fulfilling. Simple but true. Click To Tweet

8 – “I feel 10 years younger and 10 lbs lighter, except for sure neither is true! But I released years of hang-ups and emotional pain that were holding me down. I feel like an unstoppable woman now.”

Key #8: Freedom has everything to do with the courage to let go physically and emotionally. Click To Tweet

9 – “I went from having a long list of things that I want in life, that I desire to chase and build, but not feeling as if I have a clear pathway forward, to feeling like I have very clear steps regarding the overall picture.”

Key #9: Having time to listen from the inside out makes fulfilling our desires easier and clearer. Click To Tweet

10 – “Deep and long lasting healing isn’t a one-off endeavor and it doesn’t happen over-night. Healing transforms into liberty and liberty is preserved with constant maintenance.”

Key #10: Practice is the fuel, the jewel and the heart of self-cultivated happiness. Click To Tweet

I’m so honored to have been in the company of each of these women who came forth with their internal wisdom. Each woman was a beacon, illuminating the lessons she was unravelling for herself, for the benefit of everyone who sees and knows her.

My intention is buoyant as ever and my pledge is strong.

It’s my wish that every woman who experiences Permission Sessions continues to illuminate the jewels she discovered for herself. And just by nature of the way she walks, talks and breathes in her own skin, may she continue to deeply affect and inspire others with her grace, ease and presence.

I love how one participant summed it up:

“The Permission Retreat is a unique and authentic experience that will transport you to the essence of who you were, who you are and who you want to be.” – Sabrina Bouraoui

May we all be free to be who we were born to be, without pretense, apology, denial, hiding or shame.

Who’s coming with me next time?

Want to book a Group Permission Sessions Workshop in your city?  Contact me here.
Minimum 6 participants required for Permission Session Workshops.  Private VIP Permission Sessions via skype are also available here.

With gratitude for the opportunity to serve you.

xo Krista

Big thanks to Lisa Meta Griff who faithfully hung in with me through the logistics to get the first Permission Retreat off the ground.

Oodles of gratitude for my sister Karla Kujat, who hosted our group at the luxurious Casa La Villita where the gracious staff pampered us daily. They made us laugh and feel like queens with their warm attention and delicious meals.

The beauty and luxury of the villa with ocean views, the outdoor living space, the labyrinth, the private workshop room, and the endless magical nooks for comfort and rejuvenation made it our perfect oasis for this time and for always. Thank you Karla.

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Check Out Our Top 12 Favorite Relationship Quotes

Sometimes a quote can cut straight to our core and wake us up to profound realizations about ourselves. My favorites are the ones that let us relate to others with more ease, love and freedom. Today I’m sharing my favorite relationship quotes with you and hope they offer endless inspiration.  Enjoy!

In your borrowed body, a precious gift is hidden.
Search for it not only when in pain
Learn to love before death claims you.

We need to be able to enter the body or the erotic space of another,
without the terror that we will be swallowed and lose ourselves.
– Esther Perel

Deprived of enigma, intimacy becomes cruel when it excludes any possibility of discovery.  Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.
-– Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity

Sex is a state of grace,
In a cage it can’t take place.
Break the cage then, start in and try.
-D.H. Lawrence

Anger is meant to be respected.  Why? Because Anger is a map. Anger shows us what our boundaries are.  Anger shows us where we want to go.  It lets us see where we’ve been and lets us know when we haven’t liked it.  Anger is a sign of health.
It will always tell us when we’ve betrayed ourselves.
– Julia Cameron

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

Relationships are the hospital for the soul. – Marianne Williamson

When you meet anyone, remember it’s a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.
– John O’Donohue

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
― C.G Jung

While it may seem appropriate to assign blame to another, this choice not only creates separation between ourselves and those around us, it is also a choice that leaves us with a missed opportunity to access valuable insight for our healing and spiritual growth
– Deepak Chopra

When sex is of the ego it is a substitute for communication.
-Marianne Williamson

As with lovers:
When it’s right ,you can’t say
Who is kissing whom.
-Gregory Orr

What’s your favorite relationship quote? I’d love to know. Please, drop me a note and let me know which quote is your favorite. I want to know what inspires you.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Beauty And Start Seeing It

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision” – Helen Keller

“I’ll take you around the world if you get back to that shape.”  He pointed to a picture of me taken exactly 20 years ago. I was skin and bones; it was just a couple of months after I’d recovered from typhoid fever. For weeks, I couldn’t keep down anything I ate. It was closest to death I’d ever been in my life.  

I know he intended this as a compliment for my youthful skinny self.  And he didn’t know that I’d had typhoid fever a few weeks before that photo had been taken. But offering me a reward to return to my skin and bones state, felt sickening.


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Inside, there’s something deeply quiet: 

A sanctuary for dances in the dark

A muse for adventure, spelunking onto damp soil.

Inside, you see

The YES is not lost.

When you sink down further into the noiseless dark,

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Unravel Me


Smear rhythm into my skin

Travel the awakening of my curves

Soak into sensual arpeggios

As the untold story of liberation penetrates silky smooth skin,

Exploring unknown territory

Melting into this abyss of sensation (more…)

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How to Break Through Depression and Heal With Pleasure

depression symptoms, depression, am I depressedI understand that many of us have different ideas about what pleasure is, but for me, pleasure is the ability to feel love in each cell in my body.

When we feel pleasure in our bodies, we’re reminded on a visceral level that we’re worthy and deserving of love. On a primal level this can be a profound doorway through depression.

Pleasure has no conditions. Pleasure doesn’t tell us that we need to be single in order to feel free enough to accept it’s luxury. And pleasure doesn’t dictate that we need to be in a relationship in order to be deserving of it’s love. Pleasure doesn’t tell us we need to look or act a certain way to be worthy of it’s grace.

Pleasure doesn’t judge us, even though we may tend to judge pleasure itself.

Giving ourselves permission for pleasure is the catalyst that breaks down age old tutelage that we need to maintain the roles that have become expected of us, meanwhile hiding or forgetting our sensual and sexual selves for fear of being punished, shut-down, shamed,  violated, devalued, disrespected or… sometimes the most heartbreaking of all: we’ll be seen as a beautiful sexy Thing, but not truly seen for who we are.


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Why the Difference between Sensuality and Sexuality Matters


the famous sculptures around the austrian parliament dedicated to the greek goddess pallas athena

Ever thought about how your sensuality and sexuality are different?

Sensuality and sexuality are often lumped into the same category, but they are two very different qualities with unique capacities that contribute to our well-being in different ways.

Sensual is not always sexual. And sexual is not always sensual.

Sensuality is essentially our ability to feel pleasurable sensation through our senses of touch, scent, taste, sight and sound. Savoring decadent foods, feeling the texture of grass against bare feet, enjoying sensual caresses from a lover. These sensual experiences are pleasurable, but they may or may not be connected to an erotic or sexual turn on.

Sensuality is an incredibly healing force, because it’s the bridge that connects  the quadrinity of our selves: mental, emotional, physical, and consciousness. While being in-tune with our sensuality can connect us to our primal sexual essence, sensuality opens a powerful gateway to experiencing our raw emotions, access to which allows us to feel deeply connected to ourselves and to others.

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LookingForwardAranka_0495📷  by Artist Aranka Israni

A broken heart is like a broken stick.  

Broken sticks lie on the ground lifeless.

Please, dear You.

Don’t linger on being friends with broken sticks.

Don’t make ornaments or trophies out of them.

Throw them to the ocean.

Let them compost.

Make kindling out of them.

Let them burn in a fire.

That fuels rich and prolific love.

If you still love the broken stick to pieces.  

Say good bye.

Crush and bury it with hard handed love.

Let it fertilize.

Don’t leak your energy.

Don’t arrange broken sticks.

Don’t move them from place to place.

Un-friend vampires.  Delete emails.   Burn photos.  

Let the sentiment of your memories bleed.

Free your hope of wishing things were different.

Then massage, and till your soil madly, lovingly, passionately and devotedly.

Take a seat on the heated soil.

Alive with deliberate destruction.

And watch what comes to life.

© Krista Kujat

📷 Me by Artist Aranka Israni

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📷 by Artist Aranka Israni

Slide down my spine

Melt me now

Caress my skull

From the inside out

Your textured voice

Drips and drags

Into my belly

A red velvet statement

Of myself in selflessness

Hold me

Feel me

As I drag my breast across the floor

And then rise up  

Breaking the ceiling of my satisfaction

© Krista Kujat

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How To Be Giving Without Killing Your Desire

Couple sweet laziness

We all crave the feelings of trust, safety and a sense of belonging in our relationships, but sometimes that craving turns into a compulsion to over-give by taking care of our partner’s feelings in order to maintain a sense comfort with them. You’re not alone in feeling dwindling sexual desire when things get too comfortable.

What many people don’t know is that there’s a pleasurable and empowering way to break free from this comfort zone. We can re-calibrate this desire-less groove by balancing out how we give and receive, both emotionally and sexually.

If we could just be more daring with our erotic desires, we can break the pattern of over-giving emotionally. By using sexual context to practice expressing our desires, it can break the pattern of coddling our partner’s feelings. As a result, we can achieve not only deeper satisfaction sexually, but also achieve greater trust in our relationships, because we feel even more free to be ourselves.

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